


In Memory of Love Not Lost

by theimpossiblegeekygrrl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, Het, Infidelity, Severus Snape Fest 2016
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-13 11:18:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5705734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theimpossiblegeekygrrl/pseuds/theimpossiblegeekygrrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lily finds herself drawn back to Cokeworth by an unexpected death.  While there, she comes face to face with emotions long buried in the past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Memory of Love Not Lost

**Author's Note:**

> A thousand, million thanks to my most lovely, perfect, smutty beta: my brilliant honeymink. She made muscle and flesh come from mere bones.

****

* * *

 

I have learned much in my life from books  
and out of them about love.  
Death is not the end of it.  
\- William Carlos Williams –

* * *

 

It was in the kitchen of their cottage in Godric’s Hollow where Lily read that Tobias Snape was dead.

The morning had passed just as all mornings did now. She woke, a little earlier than normal as she wasn’t sleeping very well, and ate a few crackers that she kept on the bedside table. Her shower had been very lovely at first, but eventually the heat tired her and she needed to rest, even such a short time after waking up.

Little things like that were beginning to frustrate her, even with the end result being so wondrous.

Walking into the kitchen in her dressing gown, she sat at the table, where a bowl of cereal, an obscenely large glass of orange juice, and her husband were waiting for her. It made her smile. Even though she was taking potions from the local apothecary that would keep her healthy, James must have been looking over her shoulder while she was reading the books she bought in the Muggle bookshop, just to supplement her knowledge.  
She sat next to him, sighing as she looked with longing at his plate of hot food, then at her own cold, and rather plain breakfast. At least he remembered the things she didn’t like to eat. He could be very thoughtful that way, when he wanted to be.

The cereal she decided to ignore for now, as her stomach gave a slight twinge of nausea. Instead, she sipped the glass of juice and, ignoring the _Daily Prophet_ as well, she opened a copy of the _Cokeworth Commercial_.

“I don’t know why you still take that paper, Lily,” James complained, though his voice was light. It was their usual morning routine. Down to this very last detail.

“If you suddenly became a Muggle would you still take the _Prophet_?” she replied, smiling as she began to read.

“But that’ll never happen.” James took the _Prophet_ for himself and busied himself with the large plate of bacon and eggs that Lily blissfully was upwind of.

“You never know. Just because you haven’t experienced something doesn’t mean it couldn’t happen. I didn’t believe witches and wizards were real until I was nine and… oh dear,” she muttered, frowning a little as she started to read the obituaries.

“What?”

“Severus’s father died.”

James rolled his eyes and pretending to gag a little when she spoke his name.

“Oh, don’t give me that look, James. He was my best friend until –“

“Until he called you a – he called you that word. Remember?” James frowned and shook his head, pushing his glasses up his nose to read the article for himself.

 _Tobias Snape, 48, passed away after a short illness on 2 March 1980. Husband of the late Eileen (Prince) Snape. The funeral service will take place at St. Anthony’s Church on Wednesday, 12 March 1980 at 11:00_.

“I wonder why Severus wasn’t mentioned,” Lily said.

“He probably did it is why,” James snorted.

Lily’s eyes snapped up, narrowing on her husband’s boyish grin. James had changed so much since that unfortunate day the word was spoken, and yet sometimes she didn’t think he’d changed at all. And, despite everything, she still felt as protective of Severus now as she did then. “Don’t say things like that.”

“Why shouldn’t I? He’s a Death Eater. If you read the _Prophet_ more, you would know about the disappearances that have been going on. They _are_ killing people, whether you want to believe it or not. Dumbledore says so himself.”

“Perhaps if I could go to more Order meetings I would be in the loop, wouldn’t I?” Her green eyes flashed a little now, hitting on the subject that had been so sore between them for the last few months.

“Let’s not do this again. Please? Alice is stepping back a little herself, you know. It’s nothing personal – I just want you safe.” James covered her hand with his, the warmth reassuring even if she didn’t agree with him.

Lily nodded, forcing a smile, and drank a tiny sip of her juice. Even though she kept her face as calm as possible, she was quietly nursing the hurt of being excluded. She’d wanted to have adventures with him – he’d been so exciting and dashing in school, especially that last year. It had finally convinced her to give in to his suit. And they did have adventures, even if it was for so short a time.

Then the Order had needed them.

And now … now he was often off without her while she tended to their home. It wasn’t how she had imagined her future. Not that it was bad, or that she was unhappy.

Not really.

Not often.

She just missed certain things about her life before. Her old group of friends. Cokeworth, as odd as that was. And… more often than not she missed Severus. Sometimes to the point of desperation. She wanted to hear his voice, just one more time.

“I won’t argue,” she said. Finally feeling a little hungry, she poured a little milk over her cereal. “Do you think you would mind if I went to the funeral? I’d like to go by Mum and Dad’s old house and pack up a few more things.”

James shrugged. “I suppose not. But you told me his father was a nasty piece of work. Why would you even want to go?”

She honestly wasn’t sure herself. Normally, she wouldn’t have dreamed of going. Mr. Snape was not a nice man, not to Severus, or to Mrs. Snape, or even to Lily herself on the few occasions that she’d met him. But, for some reason she felt the need to go. Even if she wasn’t paying her respects – for indeed, there wasn’t much respect to be had, and she didn’t feel sorry that he was dead.

“I don’t know,” she replied. “But I feel it’s the right thing to do. Sev and his mother came to the funeral when Dad passed Third Year, and Mum and I went when his mother passed Fourth Year...” She started to tear up and quickly brought a napkin to her eyes. Blast these silly emotions always so close to the surface! And the tears weren’t even for Mr. Snape, not really.

“Then go,” James said evenly. He took her free hand in his and squeezed it lightly. “I should make a trip to see Sirius anyways, he’s been clamouring for the gang to get together.”

“You won’t go with me?” Lily asked.

James shook his head. “I don’t really know if that would be appropriate. I’d hate to have to hex Snivellus while he’s in mourning if he looks at you the wrong way. Just be careful with him, won’t you?”

Lily’s fingers itched with the need to hex _him_ for using that horrible nickname. He’d promised not to. But then again he’d promised a lot of things he hadn’t always held true to. “If he even shows, James. Actually, I may pack a bag and stay overnight if you don’t mind. My room is the last to pack anyway – might be nice to be there, if only for just one more n-n-night,“ she started to stutter as the tears came again.

“Do what you need to do, my love,” James said. He smiled and took her hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing it tenderly. She blushed when his mouth moved to her wrist, and further up until he reached her neck.

He always did know what to do to cheer her up.

* * *

Lily was late to the service by a full thirty minutes.

James had insisted that she not Apparate back and forth between the two homes. But by the time a proper Floo connection had been worked out with the Ministry, there’d only been enough time for her to throw her overnight bag on the dusty old rug in her parents’ home and run to the church.

More people were moving away since the mill closed. As she hurried through the streets, the heels of her boots echoing with each step, she caught glimpses of all the things that were missing. Smith’s Bakery, the old tailor – even the grocery that had fed their neighbourhood had boards in the windows along with large signs that said, “CLOSED”. The few people who lumbered the streets around her were no longer the charming folk who would smile and give her a warm greeting. No, these folks seemed listless, withdrawn. Sullen.

She arrived at the church just in time to meet the gravedigger, who had just tossed his shovel over his shoulder and turned his back to the grave, which was marked with a small stone that bore the name ‘Snape’.

“Did I miss the service?” she asked, a little breathless as she caught the tall man by the arm.

“Aye,” he replied. The man’s cheeks were ruddy in the cool day, eyes bright blue and clear. “Naaa 'un came, so the minister kep’ it brief.”

“No one at all?” she asked, looking over his shoulder to the rows of stones behind him.

“Not even his owern.” He spit on the ground to her left, appearing to be slightly contrite with she wrinkled her nose. “’Scuse me, miss.”

Lily nodded and gave a polite smile when he tipped his hat to her and turned, walking down a dirt path by the church and disappearing from sight.

Looking around first to make sure no one was there, she pulled out her wand and flicked it at the ground before her. A shoot of green grass, perhaps the first of the year, curled and blossomed into a small tangle of asphodel. She plucked them from the cold earth before the flowers had a chance to wither.

It was odd, to be standing in front of the grave of a man who did so little good in his life. Severus had stayed at the Evans’s home a lot in the years before they went to Hogwarts, and even after that he had spent most of his free moments during the summer studying at their kitchen table or talking with Lily on the old wooden bench swing out back. It had all been to get away from this man, now cold and buried in the hard ground below her feet. And yet, she couldn’t help but feel sympathy for anyone who had no mourners to bear witness, other than the daughter of his former supervisor who had once been the best friend of his estranged son.

She laid the flowers on top of the new grave. The white petals gathered some of the dirt, and where they had previously glowed with a pale, delicate beauty, they now looked dingy and frail. She knelt as best she could next to the grave. After a quick prayer she could recite from memory of church services past, she stood, dusting the soil from her skirt and straightening her too large overcoat.

Her parents were just a few rows down, a quick walk in the chilly March air. Their grave was much more ornate, thanks to Tuney’s efforts. An angel sat on top of the white stone where their names, as well as the dates of the years they had lived, had been chiselled into the marble.

  
Again she looked around, just to make sure she wasn’t being watched, and flicked her wand at a small green leaf that had landed close by. It floated to the ground in front of the headstone and grew into a small bush of her mother’s favourite flowers. Yellow roses. Perhaps when she came by in the summer, when it was warmer, she’d see them in their full glory, if Petunia didn’t decide the bush was a weed and destroy it before the cheerful flowers had chance to bloom.

Lily sighed and knelt once more, wishing she’d had had the foresight to bring a blanket with her. She prayed silently, forgetting the world was even around her for a minute until she finally opened her eyes. Her vision was blurry with tears, but it didn’t stop her from seeing the tip of the black, dragon-hide boot in the edge of her vision, or the tip of the wand pointed at her.

She scrambled back on her heels, forgetting about the tombstone so close by, until she felt the pain as the cement and marble collided with the back of her head.

Then all went dark.

* * *

She woke later – much later by the look of the dimming light from outside. Trying desperately not to panic, she tried to Summon her wand. It flew to her as fast as it always did when misplaced.

Now she was very confused. Unfamiliar room, yet she still had access to her wand, and the wound that should have been on her head was healed.

“Finally awoken from your slumber?” A deep, familiar voice called out to from the door. Severus was standing there, dressed head to toe in heavy black wool.

She gasped. He’d changed so much in the two years since she’d seen him last, save for his voice. His hair, which had once just touched his ears now touched shoulders that were broader. The pallid and thin face had filled out slightly, and was heavier at the brow and cheek.

Gone was the look of the spidery boy of her youth – he’d taken on the look of a man.

A man who was one of You Know Who’s most valued lackeys.

“A knut for your thoughts, Lily,” he said menacingly as he walked into the room and and sat in the chair next to the bed.

“That I need to give you a haircut.” She swallowed. “Are you going to turn me in to your Master?”

Severus regarded her for several moments before he laughed, bitterly. He shook his head and looked away. “Why would I do that?”

“Isn’t it what you do? Pass information, about people like me?”

He turned his head back to her, his black eyes dull. “No. I’m not going to turn you in.”

She shivered and looked around the room. It was a cold and grey, even down to the dingy walls that might have once been white. Two bookshelves, laden with thick leather bound tomes, stood against the far wall. Other than that, the small bed, and a bedside table with an oil lamp, it was completely unadorned.

“Where are we?”

“My parents’ home,” he said gruffly. “You never did come here, did you?”

“You never wanted me to,” she replied. Her voice was stiff at first, then became warmer as she slid into memory. “Remember? You told me there was nothing to miss, then would ask if my mother had made any cookies with the chocolate nibs you liked so much.”

“She always had them on hand,” he mused, his face softening a little.

“That’s because she knew you liked them. She was always so worried about how thin you were.”

He shrugged and lowered his eyes, his voice very low when he said, “I was sorry to hear of her passing last year. She and your father were more like parents to me than my own for a time. Remember?”

“I remember,” Lily said. She turned away but didn’t fight the little stream of tears that fell from her eyes.

What had happened to the two of them? Severus had been her best friend for years, the only person who understood her or even wanted to. Until a darker power seduced him away from her. She missed him – had missed him the moment she walked back into Gryffindor Tower the night he’d tried to ask for her forgiveness. After that, she’d barely seen him – even in class he had sat at the very back, shrouded by the burlier forms of Mulciber and Avery.

Suddenly, her hands moved to the sleeve of his robes and yanked it up. He didn’t even try to stop her, or shield her from seeing the newly burned Dark Mark, black and writhing on his very pale skin.

“So you really belong to him now, don’t you?” she whispered.

He grabbed her hand, bringing up her ring finger for him to see.

“As much as you belong to Potter,” he said cruelly as he turned the ring, the large diamond catching all the available light in the room, the gold band behind it glowing warmly.

“It’s not the same,” she said. As though his touch burned her, Lily snatched her hand back and buried it in the fabric of her coat.

“Isn’t it?” he asked. He looked at his mark, sneering at it before he hid it once more under his robes.

“I’m bound not out of hatred but because of love, Severus.”

“What makes you think I’m not?” he asked. The words came out haltingly, as though he didn’t want to speak them at all.

“What – “

“Are you hungry?” he asked.

She swallowed again and nodded. She hadn’t eaten her cereal this morning, just her juice and a few crackers as James had fussed over the Floo.

“There’s food in this house for a change. I can make us something to eat.”

“Thank you, Severus.” She stood up, a little too quickly. Feeling dizzy and hot all at the same time, she grabbed for his arm and hung on until the worst passed and she was able to see straight again.

“Are you unwell?” he asked.

“As well as I can be, I suppose,” she said. She took off her coat, as she was still overly warm, and sat it on the bed. Rubbing the slight swell of her abdomen – not even a swell as much as it was the promise of one – she sighed, happily, until she looked up and saw the pain etched into Severus’s face.

“You’re pregnant?” he asked brokenly. His voice caught and he moaned a little as though he was trying to stifle a sob.

“About four months,” she said. She frowned, confused by his reaction. “I’m due at the end of August.”

“Pregnant,” he whispered. “Potter’s… “

“Sev?” She grabbed his arm again, but he turned and flung her hand away.

“Leave,” he said quietly.

“What?”

“Leave now, Lily, if you know what’s good for you.”

His voice was so soft that she could scarcely hear him. But his magic was rippling through the room, the darkness in it scaring her as she quickly grabbed her coat and left.

* * *

She made her own dinner, from the few things that were left in the pantry: a box of pasta, a can of tomatoes. Just a few odds and ends left over from the life that had once been in this house. She sat on an old footstool, using the cabinet as a table, as she ate the meal straight out of the pot – too tired to justify transfiguring a plate.

Severus’s reaction confused her, but then again what else was new? Her mother had held the belief he had harboured a crush on her in school, as had James and Sirius – but he would have said something, wouldn’t he? She had given him every opportunity to do so, time and time again. An opening, a moment… and always nothing. Eventually she’d decided her mother was wrong, especially after Sev had called her a Mudblood – surely that was a sign that his feelings towards her had been fleeting, and that she’d cared about him much more than he did about her. Tuney had told her he was only friends with her to get a decent meal. But, Tuney could be cruel in ways that she never thought Severus capable of.

Until he had said that word.

Blushing, she remembered how she’d once fancied him… but that was so long ago now that she immediately put the thought out of her mind as she stared at the ring on her left hand and thought of James.

The electricity in the house was off, and she shivered as the sun disappeared behind the trees outside. She cast a Warming charm, making the room a little more cosy – and at least the food was hot, though now as she looked at the remaining noodles she decided she best stop before she get sick again. Using her last bit of energy, she cast a Stasis charm over the pot and went upstairs, back to her little room – second door to the left. Smiling at the picture of the unicorn she had drawn not too many years ago after seeing one for the first time in the Forbidden Forrest, she opened the door and froze.

Severus was there, sitting on her bed, head in his hands.

Lily bit her lip, holding her breath as she shut the door behind her and sat down next to him, the pine bedframe creaking with their combined weight.

“I’m sorry,” he said, still not looking up.

“You seem to say that a lot, Severus,” she said, flinching at the cruelty in her voice.

“ _Don’t_ – “ he rasped. “You don’t know. Never knew.”

“Knew what?” she asked, more kindly now.

She tugged at his hands and they fell away. His face was red, eyes swollen as though he’d been crying. But she’d never known him to do that – not even after his parents’ worst fights.

“I … heavens, I still can’t say it, not even now,” he muttered.

She grabbed his hands in her own. They were warm and still damp from his tears.

“You can tell me anything, Sev. Remember? You were my best friend once,” she said lightly, leaning over to press a chaste kiss to his cheek before she could stop herself.

But he turned his head, just slightly, and her lips met his instead.

It was not their first kiss. Once they had been curious teenagers who wanted to know what snogging was like, and decided to kiss each other to find out. It was a little silly at first, for Lily at least.

His lips had been firm against hers, which had been very nice for a while. Until he’d tried to slip his tongue in her mouth. She’d laughed at the intrusion, but complied when he frowned and told her it was what a real snog involved.

As his hands cupped her face, his eyes looking so intently into hers that she could see herself reflected in them, she realized that she may fancy him, just a little. His mouth had been gentle when he kissed her a second time, his tongue sweet as it innocently touched hers. It had made her tingle, all over, in places she was forbidden to speak of. She’d pulled away, making a quick excuse that she was going to miss tea, and ran back home.

Now their lips met unexpectedly, and they both pulled back. When her mouth parted, as she intended to utter a quick apology, he leaned in again and kissed her again, not waiting for preliminaries before his tongue filled her mouth, searching for hers. It didn’t feel sweet or innocent this time – this was a man who knew the power of his body. She tried to pull back, to break the kiss and perhaps slap him for it, except that when his hands touched her face, reverently, caressing her as though she was fine silk, she lost herself and kissed him back.

Groaning, he leaned forward, pressing his hard, lean body against hers. His hands were everywhere now – skimming her breasts, rubbing her back, stroking the length of her hair past her shoulders. She gasped when his mouth left hers and kissed its way down her throat, biting a little patch of skin below her ear.

“We have to stop,” she whispered, though her hands didn’t push him away. She held his head to her, not wanting the sensations to end.

“I can’t. I wanted this too long, waited half my life…” His eyes sought hers, glowing like hot coals.

“You have?”

He nodded, smiling his crooked smile when he replied, “Since the moment I saw you on the playground, swinging with your sister. Remember?”

Lily nodded, and smiled. “Of course I remember. It was the happiest day of my life – finding out I was a witch … and meeting you.”

“Did you really not know how much I cared for you?”

She shook her head. Severus embraced her, and she leaned her head against his chest, listening to the rapid pounding of his heart as he spoke.

“Did you ever wonder why I became friends with all of them, even though you were my best friend? Why no one ever hurt you, or said anything to you in school? It wasn’t James, or his precious Marauders. It was me,” he said rapidly. “I could protect you if I was on their side. Have you ever been bothered, even now – even though your husband has defied the Dark Lord three times?”

Lily couldn’t breathe. The words echoed into the far places of her mind until her thoughts jumbled together in knots.

“You’ve been protecting me? Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

Severus shook his head. “I thought I could show you, every day we were together. But you couldn’t see it – never did see it.”

“I see it now,” she whispered.

Passion, and her own feelings from years gone blinded her thoughts as she took off her rings and set them aside with her wand. No longer tired, she pulled her jumper over her head, revealing her lace encased breasts. Her bra was gone with a quick movement, her breath turning ragged as she watched him lick her lips and look at her body. Severus moaned as he lowered his head to capture a sensitive nipple in his mouth.

“Yes!” she whimpered, running her hands through his unkempt hair. “Yes, Sev… please…”

Colour rose high on his cheeks as he reached up for her, kissing her lips again. Not breaking away, she pushed him down onto her childhood bed and slowly unbuttoned his shirt.

* * *

Lily was alone when she woke, the light pouring through the window and onto her face. It could have all been a dream, except for the indentation of his body from where he’d lain the night before. Rolling into the slight dip, she found it was still warm from his heat, the scent of wood smoke and cedar still lingering on the pillow.

She loved him. Perhaps she always had, and just refused to admit it. Last night, when they made love, they fit together in a way that she and James never did. It was like he was the other half of her soul, and when he filled her with each thrust of his body within hers, she felt complete for the first time since she had abandoned him.

The house was silent in the early morning, and though there was frost on the window, the room was warm, due to ripples of magic as well as the heat they’d made whenever they woke and found each other again. Blushing, she reached for her wand on the bedside table to cast a Cleansing charm on her sticky thighs, but instead of the slim wood, her fingers brushed over her wedding ring.

James… she swallowed nervously when she thought of her husband, of the vows they had made.

Of his child growing within her.

Of the love that they shared.

She wept.

This wasn’t right. No matter what she felt for Severus, no matter how much she wanted him and needed him, or how much she loved him, she was bound to another man who she loved with as much of her heart as she had to give. All of the parts that didn’t belong to Severus beat only for James Potter.

Nothing could change that. Just as nothing could change the vows Severus himself had taken when he took the Dark Mark.

In a moment of panic and sorrow, she cast the charms over herself and the sheets, quickly dressing as the room cooled. Packing only the few things that really mattered to her and Vanishing the rest, she ran to the Floo and left, sealing off the connection as soon as she returned to Godric’s Hollow.

She never saw his letter, which had fallen under the bed, telling her to wait for him while he went to pick up some things for breakfast.

Or the declaration of his love and devotion only to her, written on the bottom for her to finally plainly see.

* * *

Severus was drowning his sorrows, yet again, in the Hogshead when he heard the prophecy – or enough of it to report on before Aberforth threw him out.

It didn’t matter.

He sighed happily as he Apparated to his Master’s side, knowing that this would be enough to bring him into the highest standings of the inner circle. Perhaps now, though the cost would be the Longbottom’s unborn child, due to be born at the end of July, he would be powerful enough to make sure that Lily was never harmed.

Severus didn’t know that Lily’s child - a son - would be born almost a month early, when he walked into the Manor house that served as his Master’s lair.

He couldn’t foresee that Lily would give up her life to protect her child.

The moment when the Dark Lord looked at him and asked him for the news, he only thought of the night, that one night they’d spent together.

Clearing away the memory of her body, he smiled as the Dark Lord invaded his mind.

* * *

  _Eleven Years Later_

Severus rolled his eyes as the new class of students marched down the centre of the Great Hall. They looked terrified, as usual. He glanced over the group, picking out every Muggleborn easily – they always looked the most nervous, as the others knew a little about what to expect.  
Severus didn’t see him, not yet anyway.

“E-e-e-everything okay, S-s-everus?” Quirrell asked.

The slight little man adjusted his turban and smiled pathetically as he once again tried to engage a conversation about the Unforgivable Curses. Severus frowned at him and nodded in all the right places, while scanning the group of First Years again. He’d been preparing for this moment since the day Dumbledore hired him. Albus himself had been trying to prepare him too, giving him reports on what Hagrid thought about the boy in the few times they’d met. Not that he took the giant’s opinion into much consideration …

He tensed, feeling something he hadn’t felt since the day he walked out of the Evans’s house to pick up a carton of orange juice and some crackers for Lily.

His Lily.

The boy was in the back, talking to what was assuredly a Weasley.

“S-s-s-Severus? Have you thought about what I s-s-said about the C-c-cruciatus Curse?”

No, actually he hadn’t, though something halfway intelligent came out of his mouth as he split his attention between listening to Quirrell and watching the Sorting.

He got a better look at the boy when Minerva called his name. Gods above, he was his father all over again! The hair on the back of his neck bristled, goose pimples rising on his skin when the hat finally called out “Gryffindor!”

Just like his father… just like his lazy, arrogant father.

Just like his Lily.

The Feast was the most miserable he could remember. The food tasted like sawdust in his mouth, and Quirrell kept pestering him for answers to a thousand questions he should know the answer to if he was to teach the Dark Arts. Why Dumbledore had hired an old Muggle Studies Professor to –  
He looked at the Gryffindor table, just the very second that Potter’s son looked up at him. Albus was right. The boy’s eyes were exactly like Lily’s, down to the shade of green and the length of the eyelashes.

It gutted him, even if the face around it was the spit image of James Potter.

But he couldn’t hold in the loathing he felt, until the boy touched his scar and frowned. The action took him aback, especially since in that exact moment Quirrell dropped his fork and started to groan.

Perhaps his time to fulfil his promise would come soon enough after all.

* * *

Severus was late to the Halloween Feast that year, just as he was every year, though after finding Potter and his mates with the unconscious troll, he vowed to try to be on time from now on.

No one ever questioned why he disappeared after his last class that day. Perhaps those who knew him best suspected – surely Dumbledore knew by now.

He’d gone to Godric’s Hollow, as he did every year. With a swishy wand made of willow that he found after the Muggle police left with her body, he touched the last of the green grass that must have been protected from the cold by the remnants of his last visit. The grass burst from the ground as it turned into a tangle of asphodel.

“Hello again, my love,” he whispered. His voice was swept away by the cold wind as he kneeled before her grave and prayed something he remembered from a church service she and her parents had taken him to around Christmas time.

Before he Apparated back to Hogsmeade, Severus looked back at the headstone that bore her name, just one last time. The marble gleamed white, though didn’t shine nearly as bright as the flowers he left for her. The white petals seemed whimsical and otherworldly as the moonlight made them glow. Just as her skin once did, when he had held her in his arms.


End file.
